The Secrets of Bloxley Bottom – Episode 18 – A Stream of Words

          Having stumbled upon Prudence, so to speak, in the stream as she bathed Spot, Tournell now cleared his throat, hoping the sound would alert her to his presence so that she wouldn’t be startled.
 
         “Mr. Tournell!” she said, “I didn’t hear you coming.”
 
        “You were too busy laughing.” Prudence was almost as wet as the dog. Her hair was damp, as was the bodice of her gown, which clung wetly to her bosom. “It is good to see that Spot is getting a bath. He was beginning to stink.”
 
      “Mr. Tournell! How would you know whether Spot smelled or not?”
 
      Tournell shrugged. “I may occasionally find myself with a spare bit of meat and, keeping in mind that old adage, waste not, want not, I may throw it Spot’s way.” This was true enough, although Tournell often fed Spot with else besides meat. A few days ago it had been a bit of fruit cake, which the dog had seemed to enjoy.
 
     Prudence looked at the artist with new eyes. Why, Mr. Tournell was human, regardless of his being a man and being French. “That’s very good of you. I thought I was the only person who fed Spot.”
 
    “Well, now you know that you are not alone.” He smiled easily at Prudence. “You look quite lovely like that,” he told her.
 
     She gave him a level gaze. “I’m not lovely at all. Please do not mock me.”
 
    Tournell placed his palm upon his breast, “You wound me. To think that I would mock you! You are quite lovely, whether you choose to believe so or not. In fact, I am going to sit here and sketch you while you finish with Spot.” With that, he dismounted the horse and pulled his drawing tools from the saddle bag.
 
     “I’m a mess!” she protested.
 
      “Ah, but you are a glowing, lovely mess, little one.”
 
      Prudence sighed, “I wish I were beautiful, then I would have a hope of marrying well. I wish I could go to London and have gowns made and have my hair done and go to fabulous balls and mingle with sophisticated people.”

 
      Tournell raised an eyebrow and stopped his sketching. “That’s rather a broad wish, non? Still, it is not impossible. Although, I don’t know how much you would like the reality.”
 
      “What do you mean?”
 
      “Oh, just that society is very shallow, ma petite. It is comprised of many people, all of whom believe that they are the most important creature in the universe and who live their lives as though they were. It’s all quite superficial. French gowns and fripperies do not a nice person make. That’s it, Miss Newton – the sort of society you so envy is filled with people who, underneath, are not very nice. At least that is the way I see it.”
 
     “Perhaps you are right, but I would like see it all, just once.”
 
     “So you shall.”
 
     “How do you know that?”
 
     “If you wish a thing, you can make it so. If you set yourself a goal in life, whatever it may be, you need only to keep an eye upon that goal and then to make the choices in life that will bring you nearer to it.”
 
     “You make it all sound so simple.”
 
     “Alors, it is not difficult! What is it that you really want from life? Beyond a silk embroidered ball gown?” As Tournell waited for her response, he sketched Prudence with sure strokes. The scene before him now would be used in one of his `daily life’ paintings for certain.
 
    “I suppose what I want most is to leave Bloxley Bottom.” How could she explain to Tournell, or to anyone, that she simply knew that she was destined for a bigger life than could be found here?
 
    “And so to London, hhmmm?”
 
    Prudence stood and filled a jug with water and began to rinse Spot’s coat. “It will never come true,” she sighed.
 
   “You give up too easily?”
 
   She sighed, “I cannot speak French.”
 
    Tournell laughed aloud. “It is not funny!” Prudence told him. “One must speak French if one is to be thought well educated and a lady.”
 
     “Who told you that?”
 
     “I read it in a magazine.”
 
      “You do not need to speak French to be thought worthy of membership in the bon ton.”
 
      Prudence looked at Tournell doubtfully. Surely The Lady’s Magazine knew more about the subject than he?
 
      “But just to put your mind at ease, Tournell will teach you to speak French.”
 
      Prudence dropped her water jug into the stream. “Oh, will you? Is it very difficult? How long will it take for me to be able to speak it properly?”
 
      “Oh, be calm, Mademoiselle Prudence, you are kicking up the water and getting my sketch pad wet! Sit, sit. Now, it would take you years to learn the nuances of the French language. I am not going to teach you the entire French language, feminine
verbs, nouns, plurals. . . . There is no need for it, no matter what your magazine advises. All you will need are a few phrases you can use to pepper your conversation at the appropriate moments.”

    “Do you think?”

 
    “Non, I know. I am certain, ma petite.”
 
   “Non, is that French for no?”
 
   “Oui. Which is French for yes. You see, it will not be difficult at all.”
 
 
   
 
 
   

 
 
    
 
    
 
 

The Adventures of Dr. Syntax in Search of the Picturesque, Part Ten

Just three sections to go before we come to the end of Dr. Syntax’s first set of adventures.  As we have followed the good reverend for the last eight or nine months, we have found him continually frustrated by his inability to find the picturesque…not only does he have extended misadventures, the poor man is confronted with one jolly scene after another, few of them fulfilling the strictures of Dr. Gilpin.  It’s all meant as a satire on the early nineteenth century’s obsession with wild beauty…sometimes referred to as the Romantic Movement. 

In this scene, Dr. Syntax encounters a Dairy Maid, most mundane but necessary.

Excerpts from Canto XVIII:

Now Nature’s beauties caught his eye,
Array’d in gay simplicity:
And as he pass’d the road along,
The blackbird’s note, the thrush’s song…

When lo! a dairy met his view,
Where, full of cream, in order due.
The pans, the bowls, the jugs were plac’d.
Which tempted the Divine to taste;
But he found something better there:
A village damsel, young and fair,
Attracted his admiring eye:
Who, as he enter’d, heaved a sigh. …

Dr. Syntax and Dairy Maid

Now Syntax, as we all must know,
Ne’er heard a sigh or tale of woe,
But instant wish’d to bring relief.
To dry the tear and soothe the grief.
“Come here, sweet girl,” he softly said;
“Tell me your cares — nor be afraid:
Come here, and seat you by my side;
You’ll find in me a friendly guide.
Relate your sorrows, — tell the truth;
What is it ? does some perjur’d youth
Unfaithful to his promise prove,
Nor make the fond return of love! …

The maid’s mama is not so interested in having the elderly doctor comfort her daughter, but as always with Dr. Syntax, he allays her complaints and manages to have a nice meal and be put up for the night at the farm.  Again, making lemonade from the lemons…

Excerpts from Canto XIX:

Dr. Syntax takes up his pen and brushes and contemplates the scenery:

I’ll add no more; for, to my mind, The scene’s complete, and well design’d.
There are, indeed, who would insert
Those pigs which wallow in the dirt;
And though I hold a pig is good
Upon a dish, prepar’d for food,
I do not fear to say the brute
Does not my taste in painting suit;…
.
For, to say truth, I don’t inherit
This self-same picturesquish spirit,
That looks to nought but what is rough,
And ne’er thinks Nature coarse enough.
Their system does my genius shock.
Who see such graces in a dock;
Whose eye the picturesque admires
In straggling brambles, and in briers;
Nay, can a real beauty see
In a decay’d and rotten tree.

Disappointed in his growing impatience with the concepts of the picturesque landscape, Dr. Syntax travels onward:   A city’s stately form appear’d: Upon the shore the mass was rear’d.
With glistening spires, while below
Masts like a forest seem’d to grow.
‘Twas Liverpool, that splendid mart.
Imperial London’s counterpart.
Where wand’ring Mersey’s rapid streams
Rival the honours of the Thames,
And bear, on each returning tide,
Whate’er by commerce is supplied,
Whate’er the winds can hurry o’er
From ev’ry clime and distant shore.

Dr. Syntax at Liverpool

Eventually, Dr. Syntax encounters some men who are interested in his journey:
Excerpts from Canto XX

…The exciseman, a right village sage,
(For he could cast accounts and gauge,)
Spoke for the rest — who would be proud
To hear his Rev’rence read aloud.
He bow’d assent, and straight began
To state what beauty is in man;
Or on the surface of the earth. …
Of all things in the realms of nature,
Or senseless forms, or living creature:
In short, he thus profess’d to show.
Through all the vast expanse below,
From what concentered state of things
The varying form of beauty springs;

Dr. Syntax Reading His Tour

But, as he read, though full of grace,
Though strong expression mark’d his face,
Though his feet struck the sounding floor.
And his voice thunder’d through the door,
Each hearer, as th’ infection crept
O’er the numb’d sense, unconscious slept!
One dropp’d his pipe — another snor’d,
His bed of down an oaken board;
The cobbler yawn’d, then sank to rest,
His chin reclining on his breast;
All slept at length but Tom and Sue,
For they had something else to do.
Syntax heard nought; the enraptnr’d elf
Saw and heard nothing but himself:
But, when a swineherd’s bugle sounded.
The Doctor then, amaz’d — confounded.
Beheld the death-like scene about him;
And, thinking it was form’d to flout him,
He frown’d disdain — then struck his head,
Caught up a light, and rush’d to bed.

End of Canto XX; Illustrations by Thomas Rowlandson

A Couple In England – Day 7 – Part Two

Leaving the shop with Hubby’s cold medicine in my bag, I felt as though things were looking up. I’d accomplished my mission of mercy and was now headed to the Fashion Museum via Milsom Street. Later today, I had secretly booked Hubby and I in for a couples massage at the Bath Priory Hotel and Spa. I was even in the mood to take pictures and what did I spy but this building below.
 
 
This is what I love about England, one literally stumbles upon history in every street. It turns out that Frederick Joseph owned the bookshop and circulating library at 43 Milsom Street in 1822. The premises were sold to Eliza Williams in 1829 and she remained there until 1868, when she moved the business to 19 Green Street. How the signage came to be preserved to this day, I have no clue, but I’m exceedingly glad that it still exists.
 
It was at this point that I was caught unawares and was again violently assaulted, this time by my bowels. You, Dear Reader, have stuck by me through my narration of this trip to England up to this point and I thank you for that. I have done my level best to report every part of this trip, good and bad, exactly as they happened and so I cannot but do the same now. I will try to make it as quick and painless as possible for you. Certainly less painful than it was for me.
 
Of a sudden, my bowels were gripped by a giant hand, which twisted them violently and endeavored to pull them from my body. Think childbirth, or two laxatives too many. Panicked, I clamped my sphincter shut and looked about wildly. The street was deserted. Nothing, and I mean nothing, was open. There was no hope of popping into a shop in order to use their loo. A cold, clammy sweat broke out upon my brow as I searched vainly for a bench, although I don’t know how wise putting myself in a seated position would have been at that point. Nothing. No relief in sight.
 
Have you been to Milsom Street? The sidewalks are cobbled. I was wearing boots with heels. I was headed for the Fashion Museum, meaning that I was walking uphill. It was freezing and I was in the grip of intense bowel pains. It was imperative that I find a WC. What in the world could possibly happen next? A plague of locusts perhaps?
 
Shivering and slightly bent over with the pain, blowing my nose on purloined loo paper, I forged ahead. You’ve got to hand it to me – I’m nothing if not determined. Oh, Lord, please let me get to the Museum in time. A few more steps . . .  Stop to pant . . . . More praying. . . . . . .Blow nose . . . . . A few more steps . . . . . I finally made it to George Street, the cross street at the top of Milsom, and wended my way through the back streets to the Assembly Rooms.  The Museum, and more importantly, the loo, was finally in sight.
 
 
 
 

Inside, the place was deserted save for the girl behind the desk. Truly not knowing how much longer I could hang on, I pasted what could only have been a rictus smile upon my face and asked her for the loo. I imagine that I looked something like this, and cannot for the life of me imagine why she didn’t run screaming for her life.  
 
Of course the loo was located down a long hallway and then down several flights of stairs, which I bounded down at Olympic speed. I hurled myself through the outer bathroom door, hastily dropped my bag to the floor without a thought for germs and sprinted into a stall. Reader, I made it just in time.
 
It took me several minutes to recover from my ordeal, as you may well imagine. However, once it was over with, the pain disappeared and I returned to merely having to deal with the symptoms of cholera – a cake walk, comparatively speaking.
 
The good thing was that, this being New Year’s Day, I had the entire Museum to myself for the length of my visit. There was a special exhibition on, titled Sport And Fashion, as a nod to the recent Olympics – I looked, but there was no outfit specifically made for the Downstairs Bathroom Sprint event.
 
 
 
 
 
The permanent collection offers many old favorites, from panniers
 
 
 
 
 
to Regency gowns
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
To Queen Victoria’s dress
 
 
 
and right through to today. The collection also includes menswear, shoes, accessories and more. You can visit the Museum website here and search the collection. If you don’t mind, I’ll save the Assembly Rooms themselves until next time – recounting the horrors of the day has left me exhausted.
 
 
Part Three Coming Soon!

The Secrets of Bloxley Bottom, Episode 17: The Perfect Subject

Prudence Newton assembled her trapping tools and hid them in the cart. She had only a few egg deliveries to make, but she had a further task to perform and she was determined to accomplish it. The major enticement was a large and meaty bone she had begged from the cook who’d been saving it for stew. Just a little fib, it was, to tell Mrs. Parr that she needed it for the poor White family in the hollow. The soap flakes had been easy to purloin from the larder, along with a set of large flannels that had been destined for the rag bag. No one had seen Prudence as she performed her thievery and she glowed with satisfaction as she kissed her mama goodbye.
“I will return well before dinner, Mama.”
Mrs. Newton exhibited her expertise at the deep and dolorous sigh. “My dear, take care. It has been uncommonly wet…” Her voice trailed away as she raised her handkerchief to her nose.
“Yes, I will.” Prudence hurried away before her mother could repeat the long list of discomforts she suffered in the damp weather.
Now, the compliant donkey pulled Prudence in the cart as it ambled toward the village, and Prudence began her search for that hulk of an odd creature, the dog everyone called Spot. He often lurked about the rectory or the churchyard of an afternoon, but today there was no sign of him.  
“The beast is an enigma,” Prudence murmured to herself, putting to good use the latest word she had looked up after finding it in a novel. She rather liked the notion of an mysterious puzzle. “Enigma,” Prudence repeated aloud, in a veddy grand tone. “You are an enigma. It is certainly an enigma. Such an enigma!” Prudence was fond of words and tended to repeat them when first found, so that she would not forget them. How she longed to pull out such a word in the course of conversation, but sadly the sort of conversations she was involved in did not call for such sophistication. Oh, how she longed for more distinguished company; for sophistication and access to a life that would allow her to display her hidden allure. “A most alluring enigma,” she said aloud as, on impulse, Prudence guided the donkey towards the river lane, leading beside the stream from the mill through the wood, eventually toward the pond on the village green. It was usually deserted and it felt more than a little queerish as she felt the canopy of trees closing above her head.
She whistled softly and called Spot. The land rambled alongside the stream, a perfect spot for Prudence’s plan. And suddenly, with a yelp of surprise and pleasure – or so it sounded to her – the dog appeared from the woods. 
If anything he looked worse than he had last week when the artist, Monsieur Tournell, had been so appalled at his appearance. Leaving the bone in the back of the cart, wrapped in an oilcloth, Prudence hopped down to receive Spot’s excited slobbers upon her cheeks. The animal was almost taller than she was when he raised up on his hind legs and placed his filthy paws on her shoulders. She pushed him down and wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Where have you been, you smelly creature?”
The dog snorted and tried again to lick her cheeks, “Stay down. You’re covered with mud.” Prudence shredded the burrs and weeds out of the long hair on his head and neck, combing them into the water with her fingers. “Have you been rolling in rotten fish innards?”
Soon after Spot had appeared so mysteriously in Bloxley Bottom, Prudence had appointed herself as his mistress. Mama would never allow her to have a pet, as animals in the home were seen by Mama as being not only dirty, but the carriers of all manner of illness. Cats, in particular, were a horror, as Mama believed that they both sucked the breath from people as they slept and were the cause of a host of respiratory ailments. Dogs were not so much harbingers of illness, in Mama’s estimation, but were simply filthy creatures who could not help but breed all manner of vermin in their coats. Horses, on the other hand, were not to be trusted at all, which was why the family had to make due with a donkey, instead. Donkey’s were bad enough, but they were dumb creatures after all, rather than determinedly devilish. Why Papa allowed her mother’s unfounded fears to rule their lives Prudence could not understand, but that was the way of things and there would be no changing them.
Therefore, when Prudence had learned that Spot had no home, no owner, indeed no past as far as anyone could make out, she seized the chance to finally have a pet to call her own. She took it upon herself to squirrel away food from the larder and from scraps in order to feed him for, if she did not see to this necessary task, who would? She was convinced that Spot’s very existence depended upon her love and charity. It worked to Prudence’s benefit that these kindnesses did not seem to serve to make Spot beholden to her. Whilst she viewed herself as Spot’s mistress, he did not see things quite the same way. Spot did not attach himself to Prudence nor insist, as most stray dogs were wont to do, upon following her home and quickly taking up residence inside. He was content to come whenever she called, to spend time with her and then for them to go their separate ways. This consequence suited Prudence’s needs down to the ground and so the two had gone on since then, she an occasional mistress, he an occasional pet and both exceedingly happy with their lot.
Another task Prudence had long ago set for herself was the occasional grooming of Spot, who seemed not to mind her ministrations in the least though, apparently, he would have happily settled for being a tangled, stinky mess had she not insisted on these forays into beautifying him. He seemed to see these encounters as some sort of extended manner of play and he now entered into the sport with gusto, yelping and giving little growls, but pushing ever closer to Prudence and never stopping his attempts to reach his tongue to her face. Slowly she wrestled him toward the water, tying up her skirts as she did. But by the time she managed to wet him down, she was nearly as wet as he. Prudence rubbed the soap flakes into a thick lather, and Spot leaned into her hands as she tried to knead away the dried dirt and whatever else was causing his infernal stink.
She couldn’t help laughing as the two of them slipped and slid in the mossy stream-bed.

 

Pierre Tournell rode upon a borrowed horse, really more than a handful, it was. But his friend Major Monty had no tired nags or even quiet cobs in his stables. So he was hoping to find a very quiet route on which to test his mettle aboard the tall chestnut. Tournell had never cared much for horses of any kind, but the smaller the better, and this one was, well, très gigantesque.
Nervously, Tournell watched the horse’s head as it pricked up its ears. There was something ahead along this quiet lane. And then he heard a girl’s laughter and the yelps of a dog. Was it ominous or just merriment?
Tournell drew on the reins to stop the horse as the noisemakers came into view. “Magnifique!” he whispered at the sight of the girl, wet skirt clinging to her legs, and the large dog encased in soapsuds. “A worthy scene! Worthy of a great picture!”

Planning a Trip to England, Updated

Victoria here…still fascinated with the trials of Kristine and Hubby in chilly England last December and January.  I promised to update my plans for a summer visit to Europe including a week in Britain, so here goes.

Statue of Paddington Bear in his Railway Station

After touring in Prague and Berlin, we arrive at Heathrow and will take the express train to Paddington, then a taxi to our hotel near King’s Cross Station. (Certainly you need to know these details…though I hope our trip will not involve a bout of ‘cholera’ as Kristine’s trip did!).

 

This keeps us sort of on the edge of central London, as I visualize it, not necessarily as the official view would be.  We’ll be near the British Library (will I be able to keep myself out of it?) Oh yes, I can do a bit of browsing at their wonderful gift shop.
One item on sale at the BL Shop
Do you think they really had TRAINED cats????

 After a day to get our bearings and just BE in London, we’ll hop a train and go to Cambridge.  I’ve never seen that city and I hope we can get a feel for the university and also see the Fitzwilliam Museum.

Next day, we are off to King’s Lynn, Norfolk, then by taxi to Houghton House where we have tickets to see Houghton Revisited.  I expect to feast on the exhibition and the house.  Love anything by William Kent – and of course I am fascinated by the life and accomplishments of Sir Robert Walpole, first Prime Minister.
Prince Charles visits Houghton Revisited
We will stay overnight not too far away on the grounds of Holkham Hall.  I am giving a talk at the September JASNA AGM about Mr. Darcy as CEO of a large business at Pemberley. I will use this visit to see the many agricultural innovations Coke supported, which would have been eagerly adopted by Mr. Darcy.
Holkham Hall

I am sad that we will be leaving London during the Celebration of the  60th anniversary of the Queen’s Coronation.  I hope there will be lots of opportunities for us to see some of it, along with all our usual haunts, which Kristine would never let me ignore – Cecil Court, the print shops and book stores…  

Seven Dia
ls, London

Finally, but perhaps the MOST fun, we hope to see some friends and share dinners and other jaunts – and all too soon, we will be headed back to the U.S., probably with a list of Not-To-Miss sites for next time.  I promise to report in!