The Wellington Connection – The Battle of Hastings

Oh, dear. The historians at the town of Hastings made a major blunder in their PR copy in 2008, when the Battle Town Map and Guide, a brief introduction to the East Sussex town, described how the Duke of Wellington crossed the Channel in preparation for the famous showdown at Hastings – which took place on 14 October 1066. Apparently, no one caught the error and the guides were widely distributed. The irony continues in a Daily Mail article covering the mistake, which makes a blunder of its own, calling Wellington a “18th century commander.” While he may have been born in the 18th century, most of Wellington’s victories occurred in the 19th century.

For an entirely irreverant and often profane (warning!) take on the (real) accomplishments of the Duke of Wellington, check out this entry on a site which named the Duke Badass of the Week and applauds Wellington’s “asskickery.” Here’s just a sample: “Once again, it was up to Wellesley to kick more balls than Manchester United. At the battle of Assaye in 1803, Wellesley’s small force of about 7,000 soldiers launched an unexpected surprise assault on an Indian force numbering over 40,000 men, and somehow managed to drive them from the field and capture 98 of their cannons. This is pretty goddamned impressive, considering that the British only brought 20 artillery pieces to the battlefield that day, but it’s all in a day’s work for this hardcore badass. The British marched on, crushed the Indians, and Wellesley returned to England as a conquering awesome war hero. When he got home, Wellesley went to the home of Kitty Pakenham, pimp-slapped her brother until he was unconscious, and asked her to marry him. She pretty much tore her dress off right on the spot.”

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